


Till I Die (It’s DIY)

by ace_returney



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Coma, Family Bonding, Gen, Kinda, Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Whump, based on new flesh by current joys, draxum is barely there but he throws leo off a building, this is FAMILY BONDING and nobody’s feelings are romantic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28223085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ace_returney/pseuds/ace_returney
Summary: Falling, falling, falling and the end still awaits. The ghosts are whispering and yet, nobody can hear.(Basically if Raph didn’t catch Leo when Draxum threw him off a building)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 54





	Till I Die (It’s DIY)

Dying has always been an underlying issue. Of course it has, he’s a teenage idiot who fights mediocre villains on a near daily basis. Leo’s thought about it before, but never like this. This time, it’s like death’s cold, boney hands are right above his shoulders, ready to drag him to his grave.

Having your life flash before your eyes at the mere age of fourteen is absolutely terrifying. He always figured that that’s an over exaggeration, but as the ground seems to creep closer and closer, he remembers everything.

He remembers the days of his youth that he wasted away trying to learn new talents and skills that he would eventually give up. He remembers writing songs for his brothers, only for them to brush it off as a phase or a fad. He remembers feeling like he was nothing compared to his brothers, constantly pushing himself to “be better” than them at anything.

As the memories fade, the terror sinks in and he is reminded that he is, indeed, still falling.

 _Huh_ , he thinks to himself,  _ I didn’t realize how tall the hotel is._

And of course, instead crying out or calling for help, he screams, “And with my last breath, I told you so!”

_ Perfect, I’m still on brand. _

However, being on brand doesn’t take away from the fact that he might die and his brothers are nowhere to be seen. He wants to believe that one of them will come swooping in to save him, maybe Donnie can catch him with a jetpack or some other crazy invention. He looks around to the best of his ability, and yet...

There’s a scream. The sound echoes throughout the street.

Leo can’t hear. He can’t feel. It’s all numb.

And then there was pain.

And then there was nothing.

* * *

By the time Leo turned fourteen, he had finally started to get some sense of who he was. Not in the good way, of course, because why would it be?

He began to learn how terribly his insecurities could take over his actions and his thoughts. It got to the point that he began to stay up late at night, thoughts running wild while he sat in bed and stared at his wall. He began to learn how to cope with humor. Instead of facing the issues and learning to work through them, he made jokes and laughed his issues off. It got him into a bunch of trouble with his brothers and they started to think that he never took anything seriously. Because, why wouldn’t that happen to him?

Sometimes, he found himself questioning every aspect of himself and his relationships. The idea that his family hated him and was only pretending to care was an overlooming fear of his. He wondered what would happen if he ran away. Would they search for him? Would they care? Maybe it was for the better if he left. It’s not like his father cared.

Thankfully, these thoughts never developed into anything terrible. Sure, he bottled everything up and dealt with all his issues on his own, but that’s not too terrible. It’s nothing he can’t handle. Even when he’s insecure and terrified, he’s still able to hold his own and fight. That’s not absolutely awful, right? He’s alive, that’s all that matters.

Well, he thinks he’s alive. He feels groggy and tired when he wakes up. Looking around the room, Leo realizes he’s in the medbay area of the lair. What happened?

Oh, yeah. Asshole yokai mystic scientist.

Leo sits up and stretches his arms. Only then is it that he notices that  _ hey, didn’t I fall off a building? Why do I not hurt?_

“Donnie? Raph? Mikey? Guys, I’m awake, come shower me in love and worry!” His voice seemingly gets ignored. The blue-clad boy rolls his eyes, “Guys, c’mon, Ignore Leo Day was two weeks ago.” Still nothing.

Maybe they’re all asleep? He glances at the clock. 3:40 P.M.  Okay, that’s weird. The only person who sleeps to 3 in the afternoon is Papa. The others should be up by now, right?

Leo shifts uncomfortably, thoughts now catching up to him. The possibilities and the what if’s start creeping onto him from the depths of his mind. They hold onto him, refusing to let go until something, anything, can refute the ideas. It twists something within him, leaving a nasty feeling in his chest.

“Yeah, I’ll, uh, I’ll be there in a sec. I gotta check on Leo real quick.” Never in his life has he been more relieved to hear Donnie’s annoying-ass voice. Leo sighs, a small smile on his face.

“Thank God, Donnie, I-“

“Hey, asshole.”

Leo’s face scrunches up with annoyance, “Wow, rude much. Here I am, injured, and you still don’t respect me? My own brother?”

Donnie doesn’t even look at him. Which is odd, because who _doesn’t_ want to look at him?

Now that he’s actually looking, Leo finally notices how upset his purple brother looks. His eyes are red and he has dark bags under his eyes. Which is semi-normal, Donnie sometimes gets hyper focused on a project at night. What isn’t normal is how genuinely sad he looks. Like there’s something horribly wrong.

Donnie moves past him and goes to the head of his bed. Before Leo can turn and look to him, Donnie starts talking. What he says...

“Leo, I know I threaten your life every day of our lives but...I didn’t actually...mean it, y’know? So just...wake up. Please.”

But he’s awake.

He’s awake, right?

Leo finally gains the strength to turn around. He feels like he’s been punched in the gut.

There, in the bed, was him. It’s his body, asleep and broken. There are bandages everywhere and a cast on his leg. He has an IV attached to him. In the back of his head, he asks himself when and where the hell they got an IV.

Donnie finishes up and walks away, leaving Leo and...well, himself. Leo is frozen, staring at the body in his bed. The silence allows his anxiety to set in.

He screams and the sound is left unheard to the living.

**Author's Note:**

> im only Mildly sorry for this


End file.
